My Judgement Is Getting A Little Hazy
by Chibibun
Summary: Usually, falling in love is easy. Now, getting that other person to fall in love with YOU is a totally different story. Pure unadulterated AustriaxBelarus crack twoshot. ENJOY.
1. Prequel

**WARNING: **Absolute crack.

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'Twas a dark and stormy night, but the meeting had to go on! No one was knew why the meeting was at night, they just did what they were told. They should stop doing that, they could get into big trouble if they're all so easily manipulated. Seriously, don't they think of the little ones! What kind of example are they setting?

It didn't take long for the meeting to start. Alfred dove right into a plan to clean the oil spill, while both Mexicos stood up to protest his wanting to drain the Gulf Of Mexico.

"Alfredo! This is a new low! Think of my sharks! What would happen to them?" Nieve slammed her hand against the table angrily. Fernando grabbed her arm when she wobbled slightly.

"Haha! We'd put them in zoo, of course!" Alfred chuckled and put his hands on his hips.

"A zoo...You want to put my babies in a zoo...Wild sharks...OH. ALRIGHT, LEMME JUST GO FIND A ZOO WHO WILL TAKE OVER EIGHTY SHARKS!" Alfred's smile faded a bit and he seemed slightly scared.

"E-eighty? T-that's a lot of sharks...Oh well, we'll find a place for them."

"And tear apart families? You're an ignorant fool. We need to just CLEAN the shit, I miss being able to see!" The two North American countries jumped on top of the table and glared dangerously at each other, lightning bolts connecting their eyes. South Mexico then reached up and with long, blue-painted fingernails, flicked America's forehead.

"We're NOT endangering my sharks' lives. Or any other sea life. Now get your act together and think of a real way to clean up your mess," Nieve said, smirking as Al's eyes welled up in pain. Fernando howled with laughter, literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Kiku then agreed that draining the Gulf would be an efficient way to clean the spill and offered his zoos and proposed a dam be made right away and started drafting. Arthur disagreed and shouted that it would be dangerous. He also threw in some British slang that no one actually understood and just used because they thought that it would make them sound "bloody" cool. Of course, Francis had to jump around naked shouting to clean the spill with the magic of l'amore!

An epic battle then broke out, lightsabers provided by Vash. When questioned, he just shrugged, and said, "Well, I'm not letting Lili run around with a gun, am I?"

People started betting on who would win, Antonio shouting Francis not to hurt his little Mexicos while Lovino burst out in tears because he's a whiny bastard who can't handle not having Antonio's attention for more than five seconds. Then he ran into his emo corner screaming, "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?" Antonio fells to his knees in defeat, he just didn't know what to do anymore.

"OH MY GOD, EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The bellow was so loud that it shook the building and the radio announced, "Earthquake in Chicago today!" Ludwig stood with his hands against the table. He was so furious that he breathed fire, shot lasers from his eyes, and grew claws which he waved around like a dinosaur. All the nations screamed and ran for the hills. Unfortunately for them, two wicked bad ass mother fuckers stood with their arms crossed, gaurding the doors. You know them as Gilbert and Berwald. They stood at the door dressed in tuxedos and sunglasses. They lifted an eyebrow and gave the nations a look that said, "Get the fuck back in there." Matthew and Tino both jizzed in their pants, because I mean seriously. Do you know how ridiculously hot they would be? So, with the exception of Tino and Matthew, all of the nations went back to their seats. Tino and Mattie had left with Gilbert and Berwald and "got a room"

The only nations who hadn't participated in this tom foolery were Roderich and Natalia. This (insert dramatic pause here) is their story.

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**So, I was out to eat with one of my friends, bostonian-ftw, and I was like, "I DUNNO WHAT TO WRITE." and she was like, "HOLD ON" and she made two fail cubes, one with my six favorite characters, and one with my six least favorite. So I rolled these ghetto cubes and TADA, I got the challenge of writing BelarusxAustria. This is the prologue, and yeah. I don't have the second part actually written but Imma start writing it tomorrow. So, yeah. Look forward to it. I really hope it isn't a fail. But I've never written Belarus or Austria, so yeahhhh. Well, see y'all tomorrow. **


	2. Sequel

Now, Natalia and Roderich never spoke much. Mostly just in passing or a harsh warning.

"KEEP YOUR EYES OFF MY BROTHER, ASSHOLE."

"NATALIA, PLEASE GET OFF YOUR BROTHER AND PRESENT YOUR DATA."

Today, however they happened to be seated next to each other during the tom foolery that dominated the previous chapter. It was like fate, as if they KNEW that the authoress was challennged to write a fic about them. FATE, I TELL YOU! Ahem, anyways, they were both in a similar predicament. They were both surrounded by complete idiots that were supposed to be in charge of the world, pretty much, and they were both utterly in love with two men who didn't love them back.

Roderich is in love with the one and only Gilbert who was currently having kinky sex in the other room and Natalia was in love with her brother, which is wicked creepy and kind of gross. Like, everyone knows that Al thought Artie to be a father/brother figure or something, but that was like...not blood. BELARUS AND RUSSIA ARE BLOOD SIBLINGS. (_Incest originated i- LOL, JK, that's fucked up, da-zeeee~_)

Anyways, they both were leaning against one hand, sighing sadly. While the nations ran around frantically, they both delicately turned their hands to each other and locked eyes. What happened next, is a true story, bro. It was like time slowed down and the nations around them were put on mute. Birds tweeted outside, the sky cleared up and the sun shown. (HEY, I THOUGHT IT WAS NIGHT?) They both slowly sat up, lifting a hand and set them palm against palm.

"I would quote Shakespeare to you, if I were English and not Austrian."

"I would probably slit your throat right about now if you didn't have hold of my knife hand."

"My god, you're beautiful."

"Can you let me go, now? I promise not to hurt you if you do." With this, Austria let go.

"What's your problem? Can't you just accept my love?" Austria asked this with big eyes and a pout. Belarus hesitated before answering.

"Because I know that you don't actually love me. I'm quite aware you're utterly and hopelessly in love with Prussia. Just like I am with my brother," Natalia said with a small smile, pushing up Roderich's glasses. Roderich sighed and sadly nodded.

"You know, I've been in love with him so long, I forget what if feels like to be loved.," said he, laying his cheek upon his hand again.

"Oh, same here. I want to be loved!" Natalia mimicked the Austrian's movements with a loud and obnoxious sigh. Austria turned his head to look at Belarus again.

"You know, you kind of remind me of Gilbert....Pale, delicate. If you don't talk and I forget the fact that you're a girl...this could work..." Natalia's eyes lit up at this realization.

"You don't look or act anything like my brother, but...you like Prussia which has Russia in it, so you can't be that bad. And you're a guy...This really could work..." Roderich grinned.

"No one's guarding the door, no one would notice if we just snuck out right now..."

"WAIT. We need more funny, the way that conversation went it actually made it seem like this relationship could work. I mean, it can't actually work...The only person anyone puts me with other than my brother is America or Lithuania. LITHUANIA. WHAT THE FUCK, YOU GUYS? I BROKE HIS FUCKING FINGERS. And America? Where the hell is that coming from? Are people just so homophobic that they have to make up a crack pairing just so it's hetero? Like, the hell? And you? Who do they put you with? Switz, Hungary, and Prussia. All make sense, yes. I've seen you with Germany too. LOLWUT? No?" Belarus was standing up now, ranting and raging. Austria stared up at her with wide eyes.

"Holy shit. I think I'm going to have to express my feelings with music!"Austria started to get up but Belarus grabbed him and forcefully planted a kiss onto his lips.

"Oh no you don't! We're going to finish this scene and then this story and then act like nothing happened, got it?" Belarus had crazy eyes and dragged him out of the room.

Now, Russia saw this whole thing, because he sees ALL. (_Kolkolkol_) Now, I know you're expecting jealousy or anger or SOMETHING, but honestly, he didn't care. Now he could hang out with Yao all he wanted and no one was there to bother him. He then went to set up a desk in the corner of the room and party. (:

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THE NEXT MORNING. AKA: THE MORNING AFTER.

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"Well...uhm...hi..." Austria and Belarus lay awkwardly in bed. They had that weird L-shaped blanket that covered Natalia's boobs and not Austria's (delectable) chest. Belarus took a drag of her cigarette before saying, "Fuck. This is awkward. You know, I think I can continue not feeling loved...You're really not that good in bed."

Austria flushed before defending himself, "Yeah well, I wasn't really trying It would have been better if you were." With this Belarus flushed and raised a fist before realizing she was naked and therefore had no knife.

"Listen, I'm going to get up and get dressed and you aren't going to watch. Then, I'm going to leave with my dignity and continue swooning over my big brother. You can leave this room exactly one hour after I leave this room. At that time, no one will suspect a thing. See ya around," Natalia said, standing and doing just as she said she would. One hour later, Roderich also left the room and attended the meeting. This meeting was a lot calmer, no intense battles breaking out. Although, the Mexicos and America did fight over the Gulf again. America kept shouting, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" while Gaudalupe flicked his forehead and Mexico tried to steal his glasses and Canada tried to break up the fight.

And thus, our story ends. Yes, it ends just like that. No happy or sad ending. What do you expect from me? An actually decent story that makes sense or is at least funny? Nope.

Also, whenever Austria and Belarus saw each other and they happened to be alone, they would fist bump. Because when you have secret sex with someone, that's what you do. Also, Russia's pretty mad that I teased him like that. The only reason why I'm alive is because I send him sunflowers...

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**I swear to God, people are going to start thinking I do crack...Well, thanks for reading everyone. Don't forget to review! I'm sorry this chapter wasn't as cracky!**


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